62 (unofficial) rules of being a Guardians of the Galaxy
by theblonde2243
Summary: Inspired by 62 things the Avengers cannot do. Peter makes a list of things the Guardians should and shouldn't do. Even though the Guardians will do exactly those things again. I AM BACK. Also New title
1. Rule 1

"Quill we're going the wrong way." Gamora told Peter impatiently.

"No. I am pretty damn sure that Knowhere is this way." He said confidently steering his ship in the direction he indicated. They had just gotten done with a pretty rough mission involving some Chitauri and a dog that Rocket didn't seem to get along with.

"But your wrong. You're heading towards the Nova going that way. I'm pretty sure we will not want to deal with them anytime soon. Knowhere is this I way." She grabbed the controls and steered in the opposite direction. The two then started yelling at each other. Drax, Rocket, and Groot watched from behind. Rocket smirked.

"Drax, Groot doesn't like it when Mommy and Daddy are fighting." The raccoon said in a childish voice. Gamora and Peter stopped arguing and turned to the trio with a mix of confusion, anger, (and in Peter) a little humor.

"I am Groot." The tree agreed confidently. Drax looked most confused of them all.

"Gamora and Quill are not related to us in any way. Much less are our parents." Drax told Rocket. Gamora shook her head and left the room, heading to the sleeping courtiers.

"I was right though. Right?" Peter asked Rocket. Rocket mumbled something under his breath and walked over taking control of the ship. "Rocket?" The raccoon steered the ship in a totally different direction then both Gamora and Peter said.

"Go and get some sleep Quill. And please don't start another fight with Gamora."

"She started it."

"Yeah whatever. Remind me never to say what I said earlier again."

"Why? The mommy and daddy joke was priceless!"

"What I said might've stopped the timer but it didn't defuse the bomb." Rocket said with a smirk. Peter caught on. His smile faded. He was going to get his ass kicked by Gamora when she got up.

Rule #1: Saying "mommy and daddy are fighting" when Peter and Gamora fight doesn't help with the situation.


	2. Rule 2

**Thank you for positive feedback! Just like a lot of you I'm new to the Guardians fandom and I have yet read the comics. So bare with me if some of my names/places are messed up. I'm using my Google the best I can. **

**Also RIP Robin Williams. He made my childhood so much more amazing. **

**I also forgot to say I don't own Guardians of the Galaxy. All copyright goes to Marvel. **

"I'm going to kill you you Rodent!" The man pulled out a gun and pointed it at Rocket. He put his paws up.

"Look I don't want any trouble. Just give me back my money and I'll be on my way." Rocket said calmly. On the outside he was calm. Eyes placed on the thief and the gun. On the inside he was think of a way out of the mess he got himself into and hoped Groot or Quill weren't far behind him. He also wished he had a gun.

"Your money? You don't remember me do you? I don't owe you shit. You owe me ten thousand units for destroying my ship!"

"Wait? Rodger? Rodger Flounder? That was almost five years ago! You can't just let go of the past?"

"Not if the past cost me ten thousand units." Rockets mind was racing. He looked around to find a possible escape. He hid a smirk when he saw Groot and Quill from around the corner.

"Distract him." Quill mouthed. Rocket blinked once for a response. Peter and Groot disappeared once again.

"All right Flounder. I'll get you your money. But first what type of gun are you using?" Flounder looked down at his gun confused.

"What? I don't know! I won it off of some idiot who didn't know how to gamble." Rocket dropped his paws and clenched them.

"And what did this idiot look like?" The raccoon growled.

"I don't know. Tall, muscular, green. Kind of an angry drunk." Rocket growled louder. "What the hell are you growling at?"

"That's. My. Gun." Rocket lunged scratching at the mans eyes. He dropped the gun and tried grabbing at Rocket.

"Rocket get off of him!" Peter yelled.

"I am Groot." Groot yelled grabbing onto his friend who was still trying to claw the man. The man backed off. Peter picked up the gun and aimed it at the man.

"Go before I shoot." Flounders eyes darted between Rocket and Star-Lord. He ran. Peter lowered the gun and turned to Groot and Rocket.

"I told you to distract him not try to kill him. We got your money. Now what the hell was that about?" Groot put down Rocket.

"I'm going to kill Drax." Rocket told the two angrily walking towards ship.

"I am Groot." Groot told Peter.

"Yeah. I agree with you on that. Rocket! Stop!"

Rule #2: Do not try to gamble off Rockets guns.


	3. Rule 3

**Thank you for the favorites/reviews/follows! **

**I don't know how I feel about Drax and Gamora's characterization. So please tell me what you think of it!**

**Don't own Guardians of the Galaxy. **

It was rare For Gamora to actually get sleep after what went down with Ronan. Her friends could tell that. So whenever she fell asleep. The boys took extra precaution NOT to wake her up.

There were just a few times where they didn't.

When Gamora went down to her room. All the boys had been playing some game that Quill called Poker. She told them all she was going down for a nap. She surprisingly fell asleep relatively quickly.

The assassin was woken up by the ships alarms going off. Gamora grabbed her knife and ran upstairs to see Drax flying the ship.

"What was that?" Gamora asked her friend.

"What was what?" Drax asked.

"Why was the alarms going off?"

"The alarm-" he looked down at the control panel, eyes going wide. "Oh so that's what it does."

"You idiot! I was sleeping you know." Drax turned on autopilot and stood up, nervously looking at the assassin.

"I am sorry. I thought it was the air conditioning."

"The-" she paused a moment. Glaring at Drax. "I'm going to kill you Drax." She started walking towards Drax flipping her knife in her hand.

"Gamora we can talk this through." Drax insisted taking steps towards the stairs.

"The only moment of peace from you idiots was taken from me. And you expect me to talk this through with you?"

"Talk what through?" Rocket asked entering the room. He looked between the two. "This is not going to end well."

"I am Groot?" Groot asked walking up behind him.

"No, no don't separate them. Ten units says Quill will intervene and get slapped by Gamora."

"I am Groot."

"No deal? It's because you know I'll win isn't it? Fine." The Raccoon took a seat on one of the chairs and watched Gamora and Drax circle each other. This happened at least twice a week so it wasn't anything new. Drax just hasn't learned not to wake an assassin.

Rule #3: Do not wake Gamora when she is sleeping.


	4. Rule 4

**I don't own anything. **

The Guardians sat at a table in a bar looking at each other intently. The group had finished their gambling for the night and wasn't exactly ready to head back to the ship. Peter tapped his fingers on the table top thinking of something to do. He then remembered a game he and his friends played as a kid.

"So when I was still on Earth my friends and I used to play a game that might- I take that back- WILL be fun to do while drinking." Peter went and ordered a round of shots.

"Okay so we've lived with each other for about four months now. And I still no shit about you all. So this game will teach us a bit about each other without exactly stepping out of our comfort zone. You tell something about your self and the people who haven't faced the thing you have will have to take a shot. Example. I have never been married. Now Drax since you're the only one who has you have to take the shot. Got it?" They all nodded actually interested in what their leader had showed them. "Alright. I'll start. I have never eaten any kind of fish before." Both Drax and Rocket took a shot. Rocket looked between Gamora and Peter.

"How the hell have you never eaten fish before? I mean I understand Groot but you two?"

"I found out going fishing one day on earth that I was allergic to fish so I've never been able to eat it." Peter explained. His friends looked at him surprised. They shook it off and looked at Gamora for an explanation.

"On my home planet it wasn't right to eat fish. When I found out from my tutor I refused to eat fish." Gamora told the boys.

"Alright, alright. Good excuses. But you both are missing out. Now my turn. I have never been to the side of the universe where Earth is." Everyone but Peter and Drax took a shot.

"You guys are missing out. We're totally going to mars to look for Marshens." The others gave him a confused look. He mumbled never mind and turned to Drax for his turn.

"I have never slept with two different women or men in the same night." No one took a shot. Rocket gave Peter a look.

"What? I'm an asshole but I'm not that big of one."

"My turn." Gamora said dropping the subject. "I wish I could go and see my home planet." Rocket and Groot took a shot.

"No. I hated my planet. I never would want to go back there. Never." Rocket said showing a different emotion that no one but Groot has seen before.

"I am Groot." Groot told them all.

"You guys would've liked Earth. It's a lot like Xander except more, I don't know, it had more to see. Everywhere you go you could see different cultures and different types of people. There's people like Howard Stark-who was one of the smartest men on earth- then there are people like us." Peter told them all.

"I wish I could remember my home planet." Gamora confessed looking down at the table. "The stories that were told of it was that it was the most beautiful planet in this realm. And the most peaceful also."

"I remember Earth as you do Quill. I am just lucky I was able to see more of it before Thanos killed my family and turned me into what I am." The group went silent for a few moment. Rocket cleared his throat.

"It's your turn Groot." A smile formed on the trees face.

"I am Groot." Rocket held back laughter as Peter, Gamora and Drax eyes went wide.

"Wait did he just say what I think he just said?" Rocket nodded picking up a glass and raising it up in the air. Four glasses were raised along with it. No one spoke of what their tree friend said again.

Rule #4: No drinking games.

I'm putting the Authors note at the end so I can explain some stuff.

**First off. I totally made up the fish stuff. Don't ask how or why I decided fish. **

**Second. Yes. In the comics Drax was human before he was what he is now. When Thanos killed his family he was turned into this and was abducted and taken into space. **

**Lastly. I will not say what Groot said. **

**Please review! **


	5. Rule 5

**I don't own anything.**

"Now. I get you guys are the guardians of the galaxy. But we did tell you no killing." The leader of the Nova Prime said watching over all the Guardians who weren't particularly listening. "But since I can't send you to jail because we all sadly need you guys. Your punishment is to sit here doing nothing. No talking. No music. No dancing. No nothing. Do you all understand?" The group grumbled in response. "Good. I'll be just outside that door. And if you even think of escaping. Those criminal records will just come back to the way they were before the whole infinity stone fiasco. Do I make myself clear?" More mumbles. The Nova Prime nodded before leaving the room.

The five friends sat in silence for what seemed like hours, each one lost in their train of though.

Drax was thinking about how much he wanted a drink, Gamora was thinking about a way to kill Rocket for getting them into this mess, Rocket was thinking of his next new weapon, and Groot about how he can possibly get his friends out of this mess.

Which leave Peter to think about something he hadn't thought of in years. The Breakfast Club.

As a kid it was one of his favorite movies. His mom didn't let him see it when it came out so he had to lie to see it. He understood that night that every kid, whatever stereotype his eight year old self would set him in, had a home life and might have it just as hard as he did. Peter couldn't help but smile.

"What are smiling about?" Rocket asked tapping his claws against the table top.

"Nothing. It's just that this is just like a movie I saw as a kid."

"What is a movie?" Drax asked. Gamora and Groot also turned toward the trio.

"It's kind of like a story played out in front of you. But the one I was thinking of was the Breakfast club." The others stared confused. "It's about a bunch of teenagers who are all extremely different who bond over a Saturday detention. In the end they called themselves the brains, the princess, the muscle, the outcast, and the criminal. Otherwise known as the breakfast club." They all paused, thinking.

"Gamora would be the princess." Rocket said with a smirk.

"I am no princess. You must be mistaking me for Drax."

"I am not a princess!" Drax told them just a little too loudly for their liking.

"Fine. Gamora you're the princess if you like it or not. You act like her anyway minus the whole assassins thing." Peter confirmed, flinching as Gamora glared at him.

"I am the muscle." Drax told them all. They all agreed with a nod.

"Rocket I think you're the brains since you are the smartest out of us all." Rocket nodded with a slight smile.

"That leaves the criminal and the outcast for Quill and Groot." Gamora said.

"I am Groot." Groot said. Rocket nodded in response.

"Groot suggests you be the criminal since he is more of the outcast of all of us." Peter smiled and nodded happily. An idea then popped into his head.

"Guys. I know we're just getting known as the Guardians of the Galaxy and all but can we change out name to the Breakfast Club?" His friends all groaned and went back to their seats leaving Star-lord the his thoughts. He'll convince them later.

Rule #5: The Guardians cannot be renamed The Breakfast Club

**You know. I have like 30 rules already but none of them are written out. But I do get random bursts of inspiration like this one. **

**I did change some names like jock and basket case because I don't believe those are common terms in the universe and** **I didn't want peter to have to explain more then he had to already. **

**School starts in a week. I'll try to get one more update before then. **

**Who do you think the guardians would be if they were the breakfast club?**


	6. Rule 6

**Last chapter before school starts. Have no clue when I'll update next. **

**I'm** **trying something new. This chapter is going to be in first persons POV (Peters) if you guys like it I'll write more like this. If not I'll stick with third person. **

**I don't own anything. **

I'm going to tell the story on how I almost got killed. Of course being who I am I'm over exaggerating the situation. I wasn't any more near to death as any mission my team and I go on. This one was no different except the fact we were outnumbered and separated, and to be honest, I'm not exactly sure how we got into this position.

I was stuck with Groot and Gamora. Drax and Rocket had gone to find the main controls of the ship to hopefully stop the aliens (I don't even know what they were) from attacking Xander. The plan had gone smoothly until the leader of the aliens figured out we were on the ship. Groot, Gamora and I ran the opposite direction of our friends as a distraction.

"Quill now would be a good time for a plan." Gamora informed me, stabbing one of the things with her knife.

"Well I think I have one."

"How much of a plan?" The assassin asked.

"About 15% of one. Just follow my lead." I dropped my gun to the ground and put up my hands. Gamora glared at me but followed suit. Groot joined us. The aliens grabbed us and put cuffs on our hands in front of our stomachs. That was their first mistakes.

"Put them into separate rooms. Question them all."

"What's the plan Quill?" Gamora asked once again.

"Talk to them in a language only we know how to speak." I told her as I was taken into a different room. I really hope she caught on.

They guard sat me at the table and glared at me. I smirked up at him.

"What's your name?"

"I am Groot." I said simply.

"Okay Groot. What are you doing on my ship?"

"I am Groot." I answered.

"I get your name is Groot but you didn't answer my question. What. Are. You. Doing. On. My. Ship." My smirk turned into a full on smile.

"I am Groot." He started looking frustrated.

"Do you work for the Nova corps?"

"I am Groot."

"Are you a villain or an ally?"

"I am Groot."

"WILL YOU STOP SAYING THAT?" It yelled at me. I smiled even wider.

"I. Am. Groot." The thing was about to attack me when the ship jolted to the left.

"What was that?" The thing asked rhetorically. I answered.

"That was my queue." I said standing up. I smacked the thing across the head and kicked him. He hit the wall. I swiped the key and unlocked my cuffs, punching the thing again, knocking it out. I got ready to attack whoever came in the door next. Thankfully it was just Groot and Gamora.

"That was the worst plan you've ever come up with." She told me.

"Good! You caught on. And it wasn't that horrible."

"I am Groot." Groot said.

"See? Groot thought it was a good plan. And it worked didn't it?" She gave me a look.

"Never again. Understand?" I sighed but nodded. "Okay. Let's go find Rocket and Drax before the rest of these idiots do first.."

Rule #6: If you are outmatched by someone responding to everything they say with "I am Groot"

**Okay so quick thing. I've already started the next chapter. (It's absolutely hilarious and amazing and it's going to be long) but how do you guys feel about crossover. Nothing big but stuff like them running into the Avengers or something and having a rule about that? Or maybe even outside of that like I'm open to doing a Doctor who one or even a Firefly? Just review and let me know. I love reading your feedback!**


	7. HELP

Well….fuck. I can explain why i haven't even thought of this story in four months. So lets start with, school started and I'm getting my act together this year and actually keeping up with my work, I got a job….I hate it. Lets see what else; I actually gained a lot of friends this last few months so they've been keeping me busy. YouTube has taken over my life...lets see what else. Oh yeah, I forgot, I am out of ideas. Turns out the chaos of these characters don't come to me as easily as I thought. So I ask YOU, my readers, to help me with ideas. You, of course will be credited for them. But seriously. I loved this story so much and I swore I was going to finish it. So lets get this done together!

I love you all and I hope you help me through this.

-theblonde2243


	8. Rule 7

**Wow guys. I love you all so much. It hasn't even been 24 hours (At the time I wrote this it was 24 hours) and you've given me amazing ideas. Thank you guys! All your ideas are stored in my idea box (aka my brain). But since the holidays are near and I'm way too dumb to think of something this ingenius. Here's your first chapter of Christmas break. **

**Thank you darkwolf1121 for the idea. **

**I own nothing. **

"Quill what are you doing?" Rocket asked looking up from his recent project. The human was hanging random things along the ship. One of them looked like a giant sock, others just little balls of plastic or glass.

"I'm decorating for Christmas." Peter told him.

"What's Christmas?" Gamora asked walking over by rocket.

"It's a holiday celebrated on earth where you decorate your house and give and receive presents. It supposedly was because it was the birthday of Jesus. Which is kind of a religious figure. I don't know I never exactly paid much attention to that during Sunday school."

"Do you just hang random things up and give each other presents?" Rocket repeated. Peter nodded.

"We also decorate a Christmas tree with lights and ornaments and all that. But since I have lived with aliens and in ships most of my life I haven't been able to do that for a while." Peter looked through the crate he was taking all the decorations from. His eyes widened.

"I'll be back." He went down to the bunker. Rocket looked at Gamora.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?" He asked.

"If it is give Peter a Christmas then yes. We are thinking the same thing."

"Good. We need Drax to get Quill out of the ship for an hour. Oh and we also need Groot."

"Found it!" Peter yelled coming up with another one of his tapes. He put it in the cassette player hand it started playing Christmas music. "I was lucky enough to find this at an antique store in Knowhere. On Terra this is what we call Christmas Music." Peter explained to the aliens.

"I like it. It's very catchy." Gamora told Peter. Rocket rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah whatever. Quill I need to ask you to do something. Could you and Drax run to the market and pick up these things?" Rocket quickly wrote down a few random things on a piece of scratch paper lying around. Peter took it and glanced at the list before folding it and putting it in his pocket.

"Sure thing buddy. DRAX LETS GO." Drax came up from the bunker and was stopped by Gamora.

"Keep him busy for as long as possible." She whispered. The greyish/green giant nodded and went to join Peter outside in Xandar.

"So we have an hour to make this ship look all Christmassy. Lets get to work." Rocket said. They ended up giving up with the stuff that Peter had and started making due with their supplies, Groot ended up being their Christmas tree with the Groot's spore lights being the christmas lights, different colored wires ended up being the tensile and Rocket's collection of guns became the ornaments. The three guardians celebrated their success with a drink before Peter and Drax returned.

"Rocket what the hell is a Snorlax? Is it like some made up-" Peter paused and looked at their ship.

"Merry Christmas Quill. You said you haven't gotten a Christmas tree in years, so we had to made do with Groot." Gamora stood from her seat and walked over to Peter who was staring at Groot, tears filling his eyes.

"We did something wrong didn't we? You only get emotional when we do and that has only been like once and-"

"Rocket. Shut the hell up. This is perfect. It's the closest thing I've had to Christmas in forever. Thank you guys."

"You're not going to hug us are you?" Rocket asked disgusted by the idea of physical contact. Peter laughed.

"No but I am going to make you the most amazing drink ever. It's called eggnog. My mom taught me the recipe for it, the alcohol free, but with that stuff we picked up from that Asgardian we'll have the time of our lives." Peter started heading towards the kitchen. Gamora, Drax, and Groot (with all the junk still hanging from him) followed. Rocket stood there a moment, then smiled his first genuine smile in years.

This is it.

This is how it feels to have a family.

Rule #7: Don't tell Gamora, Groot, Drax, and Rocket about a Terran holiday unless you want them to try to celebrate it.

**An/ So how was that? Good? Bad? I thought it was extremely cute though I may change what the rule is later on. But overall I think this chapter is pretty narly for not writing this story for 4 months. **

**Yes that is a pokemon you saw. It was the first think to pop in my head. **

**Keep going on the rule ideas! Have a merry Christmas! I'll try to get a new chapter up by the weekend but no promises. **

**Love you all! R&amp;R**


	9. Rule 8

**Well. I have no explanation for this. Though I am so, so sorry. Because I don't even know. **

**I don't own anything Marvel. But fucking enjoy because this is great. **

_Dear Guardians of the Galaxy; _

_You don't know who I am. Hell. I wouldn't be surprised if you never even opened this letter. But if you made it this far to read this congratulations! You've survived being badasses long enough for some alien transportation to find this and deliver this to you. _

_First off, let me tell you Peter Quill, since you've left Earth you have missed a lot. Like a lot. For example, the invention of an Ipod (which I have enclosed in the envelope, its that metal thing that fell out. You'll also find a new pair of headphones and a charger to listen to over 500 songs with) or how we went to the moon for the first time…..wait you're not that old. Nevermind, scratch that. Anyway's I"m hear to tell you YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Well with the whole superhero thing. There are tons on Earth now. Groups even. Like there's the X-men, Avengers, Fantastic Four- and a bunch of solo superheros- like me. Hell, Captain America is back. Oh yeah, you missed that too. _

_I'm also here to tell you YOU ARE BEING WATCHED. There are Asgardians looking to take you and your team back to Thor. Don't ask my why or when because I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention when Sif told me because of her boobies. Anyway not only that but there are people sitting in front of computer screens reading this note right now along with you. Yes you nerds I know about you too. That's not all though. They have comic books about you guys too, and they also have merchandise and even a movie! People loved you almost more than the Avengers. Don't believe me? Well I wouldn't either, I sound insane. Well I am insane. Anyway that's just kind of a heads up. _

_I'm also going to use this letter for some top secret information. I know why you won't return to earth, and let me tell you it's a stupid reason. It's great down here! Even if you aren't fully human you will be accepted…...kind of. Just stay away from SHIELD. You think I'm crazy? Wait until you meet them. Anyway, your friends are coming so I should stop here. tell Rocket I said hi! Oh and tell Gamora she's hot! And tell Groot he's the most loved of the team, and Drax he will get his revenge. Don't ask how I know this. It's a secret. _

_Yours beloved; _

_Deadpool. _

_P.s. Don't look under your bed tonight. You may not like what you find. _

Peter folded the note confused as his friends walked into the room. He took the device that had fallen on the floor and examined it. The Ipod was smaller then his walkman. How could there be over 500 songs on there?

"What you got there Quill?" Rocket asked.

"Something some lunatic sent me. I don't know really. But I'm determined to find out. Rocket, by chance do you know someone by the name Deadpool? He says hi." Rocket snarled.

"That little shit! I"m going to kill him. Don't trust anything he told you or gave you."

"No, he didn't give this to me. I've never met the guy. A guy named Stan Lee gave this to me an hour or so ago saying a friend wanted to give this to me, but had no way of reaching me."

"Well then maybe you just shouldn't accept gifts from strangers." Gamora suggested.

"Why wouldn't I?" His friend rolled her eyes and took a seat next to Drax.

**Rule #8: Don't accept gifts from strangers. Nothing good can come out of it. **

**A/n Sorry its so short. Just kinda writing to procrastinate doing 4 huge projects. Hope I got Deadpools character somewhat down? I've never actually seen much with him in it, its just kind of what I got from his character. **


	10. Rule 9

Rocket has been traveling with Peter Quill and the rest of the Guardians for just over a year now. He has learned that there is still lots of learn about his teammates. Him being the stubborn creature he was, didn't like to not know something about someone. He was one to know everything about everyone. He needed to know everyone's secrets and weaknesses- especially his friends- so if anyone tries to use those weaknesses against his friends, he would be able to stop it. He was damn glad his friends were so easy to read.

Drax was probably the easiest to figure out, his weakness was family. The mention of his would make him stop using all sense of thought (as little as he already uses).

Quill was the second easiest to tell and probably the easiest to use against himself, it's that he's human. For some odd reason every evil alien the Guardians come across thinks just because Quill is human he is weak. In ways it's true, he has a lower pain tolerance than the other Guardians, he needs to eat more often, and sleep more often. He isn't some sort of crazy assassin like Gamora or a talking tree or raccoon like Groot and Rocket, and he didn't have crazy strength like Drax. He had a walkman and a cocky attitude- and that's all he really needed to win his battles.

Gamora's weakness took some time to figure out. It's her past. If anything from her childhood, from Thanos came into her life, she would lose all sense of who she was and usually ended up hurting one of the Guardians.

Groots weakness was usually looked over. People usually thought it was that no one understood what he meant when he said "I am groot" over and over again. In reality, his weakness was Rocket. Groot loved the rest of the Guardians with all his heart, but for obvious reasons, he was more attached to Rocket more than the others. Groot has killed good people to protect the raccoon. Sure the others have done the same, but they never have ripped a man in half for him.

Rocket knew all his friends weaknesses, but none of them knew his, and he was hoping to keep it that way.

**Rule** **#9** **Don't mess with the Guardians weaknesses without expecting Rocket to kill you **

**Okay. I have no excuse except a really bad writer's block, work, school, life. This isn't my best chapter (due to me not writing this fic in like a year), I have an idea for a follow up. I'm going to try to continue writing. **

**Ideas for rules are great! Keep them coming, hopefully a spark of inspiration will hit me and I will be able to continue this story again. I am overwhelmed with the feedback already and shocked people actually still are favoriting/following this story so thank you guys so much! **

**Lastly, I don't own the Guardians, Never will. **

**Until next time (I promise) **


	11. Rule 10

**I blame APUSH for this. I really hope everyone enjoys this chapter. **

**Don't own anything Marvel, if I did Age of Ultron would've ended extremely differently. **

Peter had always loved history when he was a kid. It was one thing he looked forward for in school. He was made fun of for it but it didn't bother him. Learning about America and the world's mistakes had always interested the young boy.

Not much changed after he was abducted. Whenever he would find any kind of history textbook or anything of the sorts from Earth up for trade, he'd take it. In the years he's gotten a college textbook, a book by Howard Zinn, a nearly 700 page biography on the life of Alexander Hamilton, and about a dozen other documents. He also found it easier to keep up to date with things happening on Earth. He found out about 9/11 through an old news article, the Avengers, and even two vigilantes that had taken New York streets.

His friends didn't know much about Earth. They knew some information including the present events of the Avengers, the infinity stones being found there, and a bit of history (World War 2). They never really asked about anything else until Gamora caught Peter reading one of the newspaper articles.

"What is the history of your world?" She asked Peter. He looked at her confused a moment.

"Of Earth? Now that's a really, really long story." He told her.

"We are in the middle of space flying with no destination. I think we have some time." He sighed and put a hand through his already messy hair.

"Okay, how about this, we stick to my country's history first, then move onto world history. Deal?" Gamora nodded.

"Who was the founder of your country?"

"Technically the Native Americans were there first, but they teach it in school that Christopher Columbus did- even though he technically didn't land in America. He was also probably the biggest dick you'll ever meet." He explained. She looked confused.

"How so?"

"Well his first response to seeing the Natives is 'Oh, they would make perfect slaves.'" Gamora's gaze darkened. Peter continued on, "If you think that is bad, than don't even get me started on what happened after."

"What?" She asked angrily, "Did they become slaves?"

"Well, THEY didn't, but African's did." Peter told her grimly. "The men of America almost wiped out the Natives later in history though-a couple of times actually.. Not our countries finest moments." Gamora growled, pulling out a knife and stabbing the table.

"Men are such dipshits! I don't understand how you're all not dead already!" Peter rose his hands in protest.

"Hey! It's not me now who's a dipshit it's my ancestors!"

"Why is your ancestors dipshits?" Rocket asked walking into the small living area of the ship with Drax and Groot. Gamora stormed out of the room. Rocket looked at Peter confused. "What the hell did you do to piss her off?" Peter rubbed his temples slightly.

"I gave her a history lesson of America."

**Rule 10: No history lessons; it just makes everyone angry. **

**I really hope this satisfy's you all. Also no this is not the continuation from rule 9. this idea just popped in my head from working on APUSH. **

**Why did I make Peter like history? I just see him as that kind of kid. but if some things seem a little OOC for any characters I do apologize, it's been a while and I'm still trying to submerge myself back into the Marvel universe (I got sucked into DC for a while). **

**Don't know when the next update will be. But hey, it didn't take me a year this time!**


	12. Rule 11

**Just a heads up this takes place around the time of Age of Ultron and I'm including all Marvel, not just Disney Marvel. **

**I also renamed the story. I felt it fit better. **

**You guys finally get to see the Guardians on Earth. This is a bit OOC but for a purpose. Don't question it. **

**Don't own anything Marvel. They do own my soul though. **

Earth was very different then Peter remembered it. It was so much… louder. Technology was different, the people were different, hell, the food tasted different. Peter didn't know how to take it all in. Steve Rogers helped a lot at showing him some stuff that helped him catch up to the time period, and the rest of the Avengers and other superheros gladly tried to explain to the other Guardians the way's of their world. Rocket and Gamora seemed to be the one adjusting best to their new environment ( nearly everyone else can't seem to get used to their presence.) For all the heros, though, their favorite thing was by far the internet. When the Guardian's were off on a mission one day with Wolverine, Tony decided to go snooping in their internet history.

Groot seemed to have a love for Pinterest. How he was even capable of using the laptop Tony gave him was a mystery, but he used it, and he used it a lot. He had seemed to get ahold of the concept of the website quite easily and had made different tags for different posts including one for himself, (The first time someone outside the superhero world saw the talking tree they took a selfie with him starting a huge trend) one for different national forests across the world he would like to visit, and one for pop culture things he has been learning about since he's arrived.

When Peter wasn't on a mission, he was usually in front of his laptop or tv (once again provided by Stark) watching Netflix. In the few months that Peter has been here he has finished the X-files, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Madoka Magica, the Cosmos, and Friends along with about a dozen other movies including Star Wars (He is now convinced he is Anakin Skywalker's son), Alien (He laughed the whole movie), and Harry Potter. He also seemed to have started Doctor Who. He defiantly had a certain taste in tv shows and movies.

How Rocket hasn't gotten flagged down by the American government, Tony can't possibly be sure. The little animal has spent his time on the internet looking up how to make plenty of different weapons. He has also hacked into multiple different governments more than once. His favorite seemingly being the Americans. He was also Twitter verified with more than three million subscribers, his favorite hobby bashing Donald Trump for his stupidity and calling him worse than the Kree. No one but a few selected knew how horrible those insults were.

Gamora seemed to have become a bigger sensation than Rocket. How? She spends her time on Youtube. It started out with her just watching the DIY videos and lifestyle vloggers, then she figured out how to comment on videos. A few weeks after that she found a video camera. Tony showed her how to used it and helped her put an editing program onto her computer. At the time he wasn't too sure why she wanted this, until her first upload. She ended up doing a "Day in the Life" video (which ended up happening on the day where HYDRA decided to attack) and that ended up getting over 10.8 million views. She also has uploaded a "Draw my Life" video and ended up doing a lip sync battle. Peter was so proud of her for finally understanding the power of music.

Tony was taken aback looking into Drax search history. All there was was Tumblr. There was no search history or anything else, just Tumblr. He remembered when the aliens first came to Earth. Darcy had been visiting along with Jane. She had said some jokes that nearly made Drax kill her. Darcy being Darcy, she didn't back down. She ended up showing Drax a website and telling him to learn a sense of humour. Was Tumblr the website she was talking about? As Tony thought on it longer Drax had been saying a lot of weird things lately, was it because of that damn website? He sighed and started to look into it farther. He clicked on the man's blog when the door of the elevator opened.

"Hey To- What are you doing?" Peter asked confused.

"Nothing!" Tony snapped the computer shut. "How was the mission with Logan?"

"Don't change the subject you were in the middle of something before I came in!" Peter walked over to the couch to see his, Gamora, Groot, and Rockets computer next to Tony and Drax's on the billionaires lap. "Why do you have our laptops?"

"No reason."

"You're lying." Peter folded his arms in front of him. Tony rolled his eyes.

"I just wanted to make sure you weren't abusing the power I have given you."

"So you were snooping through our stuff." Peter concluded.

"Technically it's not your stuff, it's still sort of mine." Tony quipped. Peter rolled his eyes and grabbed his computer.

"Just don't do it again." He mumbled towards the exit.

"Make sure you delete your internet history next time! If you search porn keep it on a private tab!" Tony called out with a smirk. Peter flipped his friend off as the elevator door shut behind him. Tony smiled, satisfied, and reopened Drax blog finally getting a closer look at it. It had a dark background with no title, and all the posts on the page were from My Little Pony. It took Tony nearly an hour to recover from that ordeal.

**Rule 11: Always delete your internet history. **

**An/ Sorry for any spelling mistakes. This is me avoiding midterms so yeah. Not sure when the next update will be, but sooner or later it'll happen, until then, go ahead and Leave a comment! **

**Question: Fuck Marry Kill: Chris Pratt, Chris Pine, Chris Evans. Just answer it, for science. GO!**


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